At the busstop by the hospital, W. shows me the dedication of book he's recently added to his collection. 'To my Rabbi …' It's dedicated to his Rabbi, says W.,wonderingly. W. has always wished he had a Rabbi to whom to dedicate his books. Or rather, he now knows that is what he should have wished for all along.
A Rabbi! He would have been part of something. He would have had a sense of belonging. Despite his interest in Jewish topics, W. is not really a Jew. His family were Catholic converts for one thing, W. say. And for another, he is not capable of believing in anything, not anymore. There's no-one more boring than an atheist, W. sighs.
Of course he looks very Jewish, W. says, especially since he's grown his hair long. But however Talmudic he appears (and he has looked increasingly Talmudic in recent years, with his beard and long ringlets), there is the reality of his non-belief.
Lars Iyer's Blog 