Suicide By Thought

You've heard of suicide by cop, of course, W. says, but what of suicide by philosophy? What of an infinitely protracted attempt to die by provoking the wrath of others through the attempt to think? What of the attempt to incite murder through the extent of your stupidity?

'You know you talk rubbish, don't you? You know you write rubbish, night and day?' W.'s never seen it so pure and keen: the desire to die. The desire to be shot in the head. 'Make it stop!': that's my secret cry, isn't it?, W. says. Someone make me stop! Of course, he'd commit the act, W. says, if he didn't find it so funny.

That's my trouble – I aspire to tragedy and to tragic grandeur, but all I do is make everyone laugh. It's like a chimp shitting himself. A chimp sitting in its own shit, with a bemused expression on his face.