No!

'Your stomach never lies', W. says. 'It's got more integrity than you have'. That's why I'm always in such an appalling state. Something in me must know, W. says. Something must know my lies and pretension, and that, in fact, my life is only a lie and a pretension.

'Have you ever had an honest thought? Have you ever been true to anything?' The answer is no, W. says. It's always been no. A great no should be roaring in the sky. The no should deafen me, W. says, and deafen everyone who speaks to me. No!, he cries. No!

'It's your guts that betray you', W. says. They're honest as I am not. They're witness to the truth in their own way, shit everywhere, shit spattering the toilet bowl.