The argumentum ad misericordiam, that's the name for it, W. says, my basic scholarly move. It's the fallacy of appealing to pity or sympathy, which in my case is implied in the general state of the speaker, his bloodshot eyes, his shit-stained clothes. Don't I always give my presentations as though on my knees?, W. says.
It's as though I'm praying for mercy, W. says, although it's also, no doubt, a plea to put me out of my misery. Kill me now, that's what my presentations say. Don't spare me, which is why, inevitably I am spared. It would be too easy to destroy me, W. says. And who would clean up afterwards?