Here I feel different every day. Sometimes things inside me are in such a ferment that I think I am going mad: then the next day I am totally apathetic again. But deep inside me there’s a perpetually seething, like bottom of a geyser, and I keep on hoping that things will come to an eruption once and for all, so that I can … into a different person. I can’t write you anything about logic today. Perhaps you regard this thinking about myself as a waste of time – but how can I be a logician before I’m a human being? Far the most important thing is to settle accounts with myself!

From a letter Wittgenstein wrote to Russell