He sees me, in his mind's eye, as a kind of Lenin, W. says.
The ideal revolutionary must submit himself wholly to the collective will, Lenin argued. A will that barely understands itself! That hardly knows what it wants! The militant can have no personal life, no feelings or attachments. What do ordinary concerns matter to him? What, sentiment, or vagueness?
Revolutionary purity: isn't that what Lenin sought? Revolutionary intransigence! The plough of the revolution must turn the world over … The people must be drenched in their own blood …
Because the people have no idea of what they want, according to Lenin, W. says. The people have no understanding of the collective will. So the revolutionary leader has to decide what to do on their behalf. The revolutionary leader has to massacre half the people, on their behalf …
It's for your own good! It's what you want!: Isn't that what I say to myself as I've ruined his career, W. says. You want to destroy yourself! You want to go under!: isn't that what I whisper to myself when I see W.'s former friends turning from him.
But I want the world to go under, too, W. says: he can see that. I also want to destroy the world, but in the name of no world to come. I am Lenin gone mad, W. says. A Lenin who wants nothing but destruction. God knows, I've destroyed his life, W. says.
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